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My Dog the Democrat

Posted by on August 25, 2015
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We have a hound dog that we cage up at night so that her howling doesn’t keep the neighbors awake.  The way it works is quite simple.  All I need to do is put a treat in her cage and open up the back door and she’s more than thrilled to surrender her freedom for the mere promise of a tiny treat.  As I was going through this nightly ritual recently it suddenly dawned on me that what I’ve actually done is turn my hound dog into a Democrat. 

Yes, it’s true that my dog is more than willing to sacrifice the freedoms others have provided her with for the mere promise of the table scraps of her Master.  However, the more I thought about it the more I realized that her liberalization has actually gone much deeper than I had realized.  For example: 

  • She will gladly extract the hard earned handouts of others, but proves to be very hypocritical when it comes to sharing from her own bounty.
  • She has her own personal agenda and you can forget about having her explaining herself logically on any actions related to that agenda.
  • Just like most Democrats she also can’t do math.
  • Although she’ll provide you with a look that swears of innocence the ugly truth is that she has zero tolerance for sharing her environment with any creatures that are different than her.
  • She knows how to not only ask, but often demand handouts from others.  Yet no matter how much you provide her with it’s never enough.
  • When it comes to having common sense ideas she’s useless.
  • She’ll howl out slogans in public repeatedly, but can’t explain what a single one of them actually means.
  • Just like a Democrat when you tell her something she doesn’t understand you’ll get the confused tilted head look while at the same time she’ll accept whatever silly things you tell her without question.
  • Once she’s on the trail of something she wants she’s definitely a “one step forward” thinker who can’t seem to look past the end of her nose at the long term consequences of pursuing it no matter where that trail might take her.
  • She NEVER accepts responsibility for her own actions or bad choices.
  • And finally, she has roughly the same understanding of the U.S. Constitution as the average Democrat. 

There you have it!  No matter how much real education I’ve attempted to impart upon my K9 over the years there has always been others around to convince her that she deserves better no matter what the effort that she actually puts in to life on her own.  It’s never about what she’s earned, but only about what she wants that matters.  My dog never bothers to go through the exercise of thinking on her own anymore.  But then again why should she when she figures that the louder she howls the more attention she’ll get.  In reality, if left to fend for herself she’d surely starve with no sense of responsibility toward her own well being.  At this point I’ve given up all hope of ever retraining my stupid dog to become a self sufficient productive member of our little society.  I wonder if perhaps I can get the cat to listen. 

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